By Liss Mariano, M.D., MOMStoday and Health Today
In today’s fast-paced world, adults often wish for the good old days when they were carefree children, and didn’t have to worry about work, bills or seemingly soap-opera social lives.
Unfortunately, children now live in the same world we do today – a time that puts a premium on achievements, material wealth and networking, rather than recreation and honest-to-goodness quality time. This means that just like us, children have plenty of things to worry about.
Causes of child stress abound.
These include:
changes in the family structure, like a new baby
parents’ separation
academic pressure
bullying
peer pressure
physical abuse
3 types of stress
To better understand child stress, the American National Scientific Council on the Developing Child has classified it into three types.
Positive stress
The daily, short-lived challenges that push a child to develop his strengths. For example, an examination can teach a child that studying well can lead to high grades. This leads him to develop a sense of discipline and self-worth.
Tolerable stress
More intense, but short-lived. Children may have difficulty coping with it, but can do so when helped by caregivers. An example is an unexpected illness in the family. When a child is able to deal with this type of stress, it can also benefit him. For example, a child can learn that it’s important to take care of someone who is sick.
Toxic stress
This can result from intense, prolonged, negative experiences like child abuse. Sometimes, toxic stress can also happen when a child experiences multiple tolerable stressors, but has no one to help him cope with them. Toxic stress is the most severe type and should be addressed quickly.
Effects of toxic stress
Instead of building character, toxic stress can lead to:
Faulty brain circuitry and smaller brain development
Immune system suppression
Poor school performance
Depression, anxiety and suicide attempts
Risk-taking behavior in teenagers, like smoking and sexual intercourse
Types of toxic stress reactions
To prevent the negative effects of child stress, parents need to know what is happening in their child’s life. But because young children cannot verbalize how they feel to adults, they show their stress through their behavior.
These stress reactions can be classified as: regressive, somatic or acting-out.
Regressive behavior occurs when a child acts younger than his age. This includes clinginess, thumb-sucking, baby-talk or bedwetting.
Common somatic signs include tummy aches, headaches or a pounding heart.
Acting-out behaviour includes bullying, shouting or temper tantrums.
Thumb-sucking may be a sign of stress.
If your child shows any of these, then it’s a good time to step in and find out what’s wrong.
Children can learn to handle stress effectively with the help of their parents or other supportive adults. By learning positive strategies form their caregivers, they can cope with stress better.
Teach your kids to cope with challenges
Depending in your child’s inclinations, he may need to play a sport, write, draw or just talk to someone to vent his fears and frustrations.
Tips for confidantes helping children de-stress include:
Let children know that it is all right to feel angry, sad or lonely.
Help them relax. Teach them stress busters like deep breathing, reciting nursery rhymes, making animal sounds when they are mad or asking for hugs.
Teach children how to express themselves. It can be a game like "Finish the sentence," e.g, "When I see my baby brother, I feel ...”
For younger children, storytelling is a great way to explore feelings and impart good coping strategies.
Find time to talk to them or spend quality time together.
Promote a positive environment. Praise children for what they do well.
Set a good example. Watching a parent cope effectively is the best way for children to learn how to handle stress.
If changes in behavior persist, or when they cause school or family problems, it’s time to seek professional help.
A pediatrician, school counselor or child psychiatrist can help your children become the best stress busters they can be for themselves. After all, this is what growing up is about: dealing with stressful situations with a measure of grace and understanding.
HealthToday and MOMStoday magazines are consumer publications of MIMS, a leading healthcare media and communications company. For information and updates, visit the Health Today website and Facebook page.
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